I'm going to travel to the moon by December 2015!!

When Michael and I were first married and our young, freshly married brains were all moldable and crap someone in our ward was giving a talk in sacrament about goal setting. Michael and I decided that we would set goals at the end of each year for the new one coming just around the corner. For two whole years we stuck to this tradition. Is it a tradition if you only do it for two years? However, we stopped after we realized that by the end of the year our goals were forgotten and we were no where close to what we had set out to be.

I'm sure this sounds very familiar to you. Whether it be personal, work, family or whatever type of goals that you have set you see yourself falling short of them and feel discouraged to make more.

I have found the solution to the problem. I was able to do this because I found the problem. It all comes down to improper goal setting.

At Panera goal setting is a big thing so naturally I just did what I thought was a good thing by setting some when I became a General Manager. Just like when I was first married I made these crazy, unrealistic goals for just the period (4 weeks) and would always come up impossibly short of them when the period was over. Since a lot of bright-eyed new GM's and GM's who are a little out of practice want to set and meet goals and often fail, at GM meetings we often were given lesson after lesson after lesson on what goal setting is and how to achieve those goals.

I have to say what I learned from these many lessons is one of the most valuable things I took from my job as a GM. It's something I believe in and it's something I want to share with you.

I know a lot of people, myself included, who have made a goal to be more active and be in better shape for the upcoming year and have just fallen flat. Then, it's hard to be healthy and active like you want. It's hard for you to be comfortable in your own skin. It's hard for you to believe in working out. I hate this trend. I want people to be happy and healthy throughout the whole year; NOT JUST THROUGH JANUARY.

I am going to teach you in the best way I know how...through example. So, let's take an example and break it down.

The first and worst mistake that you can make in goal setting is by painting with too broad of a brush. Most people's goals look like this:

I'm going to travel to the moon by December 2015!!
      Doing this by:
                            Getting in contact with NASA.
                            Saving every dollar I get back in change so I can afford it.
                            Watching a lot of movies about space/ I love space...maybe I should get a bumper sticker to remind me of how much I love space so that I can feel motivated every time I go to my car.

Then this happens:
You get the bumper sticker because, hello, that was the most awesome idea. You also hang up your goals on your bathroom mirror. How can you not see them there? Then, you get your pickle jar and cross out the word "Pickles" and write in "Moon Fund" and put it on your dresser. Then you start to look up how to get a hold of NASA and about flights to the moon.

As you go through the first two weeks of the year you start to look in the future and think that because you are so great at following your goals by mid February all that will be left is saving your dollars to afford the trip because everything else will have fallen into place.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt....by mid February this is where you are actually at (We all know this is really mid-end January):
You no longer see the bumper sticker because now it's just there. The Pickle jar has also started to be ignored and the goals on your bathroom mirror are forgotten. When you do get a dollar in change you start to think about other ways to spend it. Then you remember that you were having a hard time finding a way to get a hold of NASA so maybe this is all just a lost cause and it's time to give up on such a stupid and unrealistic goal. So you get a candy bar with that dollar because you might as well give up on healthy eating while you are at it. It's not like you really wrote down that goal anyways. It was all just in your head so it's ok.

Seriously. That is so real life with goal setting.

Having a HUGE goal is awesome. If you want to travel to the moon than you travel to the moon dang it. I think we all should have big goals. It's the best way to be better people.

However, if we are going to make huge goals than the RIGHT steps need to be behind them.

For the purposes of this exercise we are going to pretend that there are commercial flights to the moon right now. This is just going to save a lot of steps. We will be able to cut out going to school to get a specific degree and inventing a certain type of rocket and having test flights and yada yada yada. So they already exist dang it. The flights are expensive and only a certain amount of people can go so you have to qualify by filling out the application. I promise it will help you with your fitness goals and will still apply. Are we all ok with this? Oh you're not? Too bad, it's my blog.

Let's take that same goal you failed at and break it down:

I want to travel to the moon by December 2015.

In order to achieve this goal what things do you need to do to make it?
Apply for the flight/ contact NASA
Set aside enough money.
Remind yourself of your final goal to feel motivated to stick to it throughout the whole year.

This list looks close to your original goal list that you dropped out from before. Right? So why did you fail? It's because those are too broad of steps. Each of those have steps you need to break down into. Let's start with the first one.

Apply for the flight/ contact NASA

You need to pick a day to have this done by. Since this is really the first step you should probably do it right away. Plan to have it done by January 15th. While you are there, look up the price. This will help on your next step. Set a reminder in your phone a week before January 15th so you are sure to open up your schedule. Then another reminder on January 15th. There is officially no excuse anymore.
With that application in it's like you are "locked" in. It's a way of holding you accountable. Accountability is key.

When it comes to fitness a lot of people just join a gym. They get their girlfriend who is wanting to get fit this year too and you agree to go together. Then, you miss a week or a day and slowly you two get less and less motivated. Eventually you just stop going.
You need a group to keep you motivated not just one other person. Fitness is tough. It takes dedication. You need something that will help hold you accountable. You need a place where you can check in every day to ensure that you are getting it done. Wow that sounds like a 30-day challenge group. I can guarantee that the gym does not care if you are walking in the door or not. They care if you are paying the monthly fee. So you need to find something that does care so you are accountable. 
Just an FYI: Texting your mom every time  you go to the gym to hold you accountable is not a thing. Your mom will love you no matter what so it's not going to make you feel motivated.

Set aside enough money

For the ease of this exercise we are going to pretend that it costs $12,000 to go to the moon. Easy math...
Not setting a specific goal of how much you need to set aside each month is a mistake. By saying that you are only going to save your dollars is so unspecific and leaves so many things up in the air.

In this example you have to save $100/month in order to make it to your goal. This will require you looking at your budget and fitting it in. Once again this is a realistic thing. If you love to eat out or go to the movies every weekend you need to make sure you don't totally eliminate those things. You can't say that you are going to only go to the movies once a month if you are used to go every week. Trust me. It will drive you crazy. You have to take it easy. Try cutting down going to the movies every other week. Be realistic. When the first month is hard you have to go back to your application and remind yourself that it's already in so you can just keep pushing through. Soon, it will be your lifestyle. You probably will even be able to have a couple of months where you can squeeze in another trip to the movies. Always a perk!

When it comes to fitness people have a hard time staying in line with their diet. It's because diets are stupid. Sorry Jenny Craig but I can't eat your frozen meals for the rest of my life. I can, however, take what I already do eat and mold it into a healthier style. Just like you can't cut out going to the movies you can't cut out what you love to eat. If you love chocolate than eat chocolate. You just need to learn how much to eat and make it realistic. This really is something that is learned. Most people don't really know how to eat healthy. That's ok. There are people, *cough cough* me, who do and can teach you.

Remind yourself of the goal to feel motivated throughout the whole year

In my first example I mentioned a bumper sticker. Just like I mentioned, you will soon just glaze past it as you get into your car. If you hang up your goals on your mirror you will soon not see those either. They just become part of your bathroom. (This is how hoarders are made. They learn to see past the junk. That has nothing to do with anything; I just wanted to point it out) In order to stay motivated you have to keep seeing your goals. So, you need to re-write and re-post them in a new place every month.

True story time:
I know a certain guy who was debating whether or not he wanted to go on a mission for the LDS church. His mom really felt like it would be a good decision to go but she knew he needed it to be his decision. What she did was move pictures of Christ and family around the house in places they weren't before and she knew he walked by. This same guy told me that one of the main things that pushed him over into going on his mission was a picture of his sister and brother-in-law he saw.
It works people. I'm sure you, too, have pictures hanging up all over your house. If you walked in one day and noticed they were all rearranged you would notice.

By changing and rewriting your goals every month it forces you to be reminded of them.

One last thing that is important. It's ok to have a set back and to feel discouraged. 
Think about anything you have accomplished in your life. Anything. Graduating high school, college, having a baby, getting married, cleaning your house on your day off....
All of these had moments of hard times, set backs, crying and feeling worthless and a lot more set backs. But you still did it. You got through it. You made it.

Just like those things in your past you can get through next year's goal and actually make it. You just have to be really specific about what you want and how to get it. If you don't save $100 one month don't think that suddenly you aren't going to make it to the moon. You will make it. You just have to keep pushing forward.

Like I mentioned before, most people have the goal of being more fit in the coming year. You CAN do it! You just have to get started out right. I have become a master of staying on top of my fitness and being the healthiest I have ever been. I am here to help. Keep an eye out for some great opportunities to stay fit and get started out right.

In the mean time think of some goals and start planning now...

Because there is NO better time than NOW!

My Life with an ALWAYS Negative Pregnancy Test

Everyone has something in their life that is a HUGE trial. There is something that everyone faces that is huge and brings you down. Sometimes it is easIER to deal with while other days you are on your bed crying your eyes out wondering "Why you?" For each person it's different some of us have the same. No matter what we all have something. It is no secret that for me it is infertility.

My life with an always negative pregnancy test...

When Michael and I were engaged I got on the pill. We were both convinced that we did not want a child right away. Then, about 3 days (yes 3 days, leave your judgments at the door) into the marriage, I decided I wanted a baby. So, after about a month of the pill, possible two, we started to not prevent. I think that year I took about 40 pregnancy tests. No joke. I was obsessed. Every little thing was a pregnancy sign. EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Every month I had myself convinced that I was pregnant. I never was, though.
Close to our one year anniversary is when we moved to California. We decided that with me going to school and Michael going to school in a very expensive state and no Mom and Dad close by to help bail us out that having a child would not be in our best interest over the next few years. So we prevented for about 3 years. It makes me sick to think that now. I don't know how to describe it. I know this isn't true but I sometimes wonder if our chance to have a baby was during that time and maybe I missed the prompting from the spirit or wasn't close enough to the spirit and my chance is lost. I want to repeat that I know that's not true but sometimes I think it.
When we did decide to start trying again I didn't know what to expect. Also, we weren't trying we were just no longer preventing. It was almost as if we weren't really ready to say, "YES!! We are so ready to be parents", so we just kind of went with the flow. During this time is when I met a friend of mine who has some infertility problems as well. She has three beautiful children, two of which are twins, that she had to work hard and take a lot of medication for. She went through infertility treatment several times before she got the children she has. I remember sitting on her couch and we were talking about the treatments she was about ready to go through and I was really just learning. I remember saying to her that I was afraid that I, too, would have to go through these treatments. She said that I was probably wrong in my thinking and that for sure I would be pregnant or have a child within a year.
*Let's take a time out*
I have always wanted to be a mom. When I was a little girl I used to play house all day long. I always had baby dolls that I took everywhere. My parents were even awesome enough to get me a doll car seat that came in the car with us so my dolls would be safe. When Frankie became old enough to play I would make her be my kid. For me, it was just natural, to me, to think about being a mom.
When I was a sophomore in college I had an English teacher who had us write a paper on what our major was and why. At the time I was majoring in Elementary Education and the reason was because it was the best job to have when I would be a mom. Being a mom is all that ever was important to me.
*Back to my story*
I was convinced that my friend was right. She was too. It was crazy to think that I would not be pregnant or a parent within a year. Then a year turned into 18 months which turned into 2 years. 2 years and no kid. Even if you are a woman who does not want a kid I can guarantee that in the back of everyone woman's mind she thinks that when the time comes to have a kid it will just happen. People get pregnant everyday. You hear about people having babies all around the world. Your 16 year old friend or niece or whoever gets pregnant so why won't you be able to get pregnant too? So when it's been two years and you are still not pregnant it's almost unbelievable. So you go to the doctor.
Going to the doctor is a huge roller coaster. First, some doctor's don't believe you. That sounds crazy but it took several doctors and me finally saying out right that I want fertility treatment for it to even get started. Then there are the tests and the medications and the list of procedures and going down the list of procedures. There are so many moments of frustration that you want to pull out your hair. In the meantime Snookie and Kim Kardashian and your sister and your friend and that girl you hate on Facebook are all getting pregnant and having babies. I don't even know how to describe it. It's like the world is moving forward and you are left behind somehow. Like you can't move because your feet are stuck. Like those dreams where you can't run fast enough but real life.
I remember a very defining moment when I was sitting in my doctor's office. Well, she was the PA. Both her and my doctor are two amazing people. They are both so great at explaining things to help me understand completely and they are both so understanding. So I'm sitting in the PA's office. I had just finished an ultra sound after pumping my body with an insane amount of drugs over the past few weeks. I had my blood drawn  like 5 times and had to arrange my already crazy work schedule around doctor's appointments. It was nuts. I knew that her pulling me into her office wasn't going to be a good thing but after a few weeks of craziness I was hoping for the best. She passed me a box of tissues and explained to me that based on the amount of drugs I got compared to the amount of eggs I was producing continuing forward with any fertility treatment would not be a good idea because it would be a waste of money. I was told that me getting pregnant was less than a 5% chance.
I just sat and stared forward. It was horrible. Still makes me cry when I think about it. Everything that I had worked for was smashed. I didn't go to work that day. Well I did and they sent me home. I just sat in my house totally depressed.
Let's take a moment to compare this to your trial, whatever it may be. So you get where I am. I know that at some point in your life you have flat out said in a prayer, "I need to know, right now, why I am going through this and what the end result is. I know that trials take time and patience but right now I need to know when this will be over." I know you have because I have. However, the Lord doesn't work in that way. You have to learn. You have to grow. That's why we are here on Earth is to learn and grow.
If you have read my blog before than you know the next steps in my crappy journey. I started infertility acupuncture. I believe in natural medicine. I do. Whole heartily. I believe that there is an equal place in your life for a "regular" doctor and a "natural" doctor. It's a balance and you need both. So, why wouldn't I give acupuncture a try? It felt so right and I got all excited again. The last month of my acupuncture consisted of the craziest diet that Michael and I have ever done in our lives. I would not recommend it to my worst enemy. For the record, I don't really have any enemies because holding grudges is dumb and takes energy. Anyways, it was horrible. We ate like we were rabbits and had no energy.
I should add, at this point, that everyone thinks they know everything there is to know about how to have a baby. Everyone knows someone that did this diet or took this medicine or stood on there head for 30 minutes a day and got pregnant so it must be the answer to infertility. Just to tell you, some women just can't get pregnant, ok. If you hear that someone can't get pregnant don't tell them about your sister's best friend's cousin's best friend's aunt that got pregnant because for three weeks she did some crazy thing. Just don't.
So we are on this crazy diet and I'm at the end of my rope. Everyone is telling me about all these crazy diets that I should try next. At one point I was standing at what is called the "Expo" at my work talking with a girl I work with. She is telling me about the next crazy diet I should try. As I listened to her I realized that this was my line in the sand that I couldn't cross. I can't try every diet. I can't keep spending thousands a month on acupuncture. I need to take a deep breath and start moving on in my life. So, at that moment at the expo I chose to move on. Being stuck in a mindset that some day I will get pregnant is holding me back from a lot. I know it's true because not moving on would have held me back from setting up the adoption I was supposed to have this year. Even though that has been hell to pay for  I still would have missed on that growing experience. It was a very essential step I needed to take in my life. I'm glad I moved on.
When I told my acupuncturist she begged me to not stop. She said I was too young to give up hope. That made me take a step back. I realized that I WILL NEVER IN MY LIFE give up hope. I will always hope with everything inside of me that one day I will get pregnant. I STILL take pregnancy tests every once in a while because I hope and pray, man oh man do I pray, for a pregnancy. Being pregnant is something I wanted to eventually be able to do my whole life. How could I give up that hope?
So, here I am. I am getting closer and closer to 30 and I do not have a baby and don't really see one entering my life any time soon. Wow, that sentence sucks. I can't, even though I want to, just sit on my bed and cry everyday. I can't. I have to move on and be a human and make an income and spend time with my husband and family. So, how do I fight against this trial and live with it?
If you look at my blog in the blurb about me it says that I believe happiness is found through exercise, eating right and finding a drop of awesome in each day. You guys hear and see me talk about fitness and eating right all day. It's easy to share that with you. The point of this particular post is to talk about finding a drop of awesome in each day.
I JUST finished and filled up every page in my Awesome Journal. On the day that was supposed to be my baby shower and the birth mother of the child I was supposed to have told me she changed her mind my friend followed the spirit so well she will never understand the impact it had in my life. She returned the baby gift she had gotten me and bought me nail polish a Diet Dr. Pepper and this Awesome Journal.

*We have to take another break to go into the past*
I have this friend and we used to just take time to read from a book that was called something like 10,000 things to smile about...or something. It is a book that just has a bunch of things that make you smile. Like sunsets, clean sheets, your first day in brand-new underwear, your pet knowing you are in a bad mood so comes over to see you, the stupid things cats do... My all time favorite was, "The way your head turns when you eat a taco". How awesome is that? How can you not smile when you think about how everyone in the world turns their head when they eat a taco? That's awesome.
*Back to what I was saying*
It turns out that the guy who wrote that book that we used to read so often from also put together this journal my other friend gave me. In the journal some pages are blank for me to fill out, others have things from his book and others have "assignments" like: Name 3 awesome people in your life and describe why they are awesome. In the beginning of the journal the guy explains the purpose of the journal is to encourage you to find one thing in each day that is awesome and journal it. Between this and my 100 Days Happy posts I was doing on Instagram I found something great in my day for 241 days in a row. I will tell you what, that takes work. When you have had a crap day you have to really think and find the awesome thing in it you start to realize how there really is happiness in each trial you face.
The last month I was doing this I really started to realize that I would be going through my day and suddenly something would stop me and I would think, "This is it. This is the awesome thing today. I can't wait to write it down in my journal." Then I would think about it all day long. I would smile over and over again thinking about that awesome thing. Sometimes something crappy would happen after I "found my thing" so I would just think about it and it would bring a smile back to my face. We'll call that benefit #1. That benefit is great.
However, the best benefit is it made me optimistic. Seriously. I can officially say that I am a glass is half full type of person. All because I had forced myself to find the happiness in each day. Is that coming across with the right gusto? I forced myself to find something that made me happy for 241 days in a row so now it's easy for me to find the happiness in each situation. Now when I say easy keep in mind that sometimes it's way easier than others. Sometimes it still takes work but now I am in practice of it. I know how to because I trained myself to do it.
Now, how does this apply to my blog?
Being healthy is mind, body and soul. Mind and body come from exercising and eating right. These are two very essential parts. However, you are doing nothing if you don't have the soul. You need to take care of that spirit inside of you. You need to be happy. Focusing on the negative of your big trial is going to happen. You will always have days that you will cry, out loud may I add, "WHY ME? Why do I have to suffer from this." However, those moments need to be sandwiched with optimism. If you don't have optimism that things are going to get better then how can you be happy?
So, I am going to challenge you. Go out and get a notebook or a journal or use your computer or your phone or whatever. For the next 100 days pick out something awesome about your day. Even on the days when it seems impossible sit and think and something will come. There is always good to your day. ALWAYS. You just have to search for it. On day 100 think about how different you are now that you know how to find awesome. Think about how it can affect you going into the future. Hold on to your optimism and never let it go. Keep pushing yourself to find awesome in your day everyday. Do it now...

Because there is NO better time than Now.

I want to share with you some of my favorites of my own awesome journal:
Pictures colored by your nieces and given to you, awesome.
It is awesome when friends who have not seen each other in a long time can pick up right where they left off.
It is awesome what a run can do for me.
It's awesome when that I can just hang with my spouse and it's fun.
It is awesome when you can take apart something, like the vacuum, and put it back together all by yourself. And it's right!
It's so awesome to laugh.
It's awesome when you are able to get a lot done and still get to fit in a nap.
Going to a movie by yourself, awesome.
Puppy paws are awesome.
It's awesome when the book you have been waiting for arrives in the mail.
It's awesome when you take a day and sleep in until noon. Because, dang it, you needed it.
Bonfires on the beach...awesome.
Guardians of the Galaxy...awesome.
Remembering you have a stack of cash "hidden" away is awesome.
Having late night, weird conversations with your sisters is awesome.
Project Runway is awesome.
I have so many more but want to add my one from last night. It was the last one to make it into my journal:
Driving home and Tim Conway Jr. (guy on AM 640 radio station) is just playing cheesy auto-tuned songs like "Friday" and "Hot Problems" and being able to sing a long to all of them is awesome. Just awesome.

The day after Thanksgiving Dinner

One of my all time favorite holidays is Thanksgiving. I don't know how to describe it other than to say that the idea of people coming together around the dinner table to celebrate what things they have and the people they get to share it with is a beautiful thing. I also love the idea of people coming together to be in the kitchen to make a huge meal. It's just like a super great holiday. Don't you love it, too?

The best part of the whole day when the music to help the cooks in the kitchen stops, the football on the TV turns off, the kids come in from playing outside, and everyone finally sits down. At this point the table is set with food that looks and smells amazing. The finest china is out, the festive table cloth, and the napkin rings you have with your cloth napkins are the cherry on top to create one of the most beautiful meals of the year. The whole family is all gathered around and says a prayer and then the eating begins.

The next few hours are amazing. The food is always the best on Thanksgiving. Between the home made gravy, the fresh corn, the refreshing sparkling cider, and the soft rolls you begin to enjoy a dinner like no other. During this time you stuff your face like you don't any other time of year. It's great. The best part is, when the dinner is all said and done and you feel like you can't eat any more, you eat about 3-4 pieces of pie and a piece of chocolate (or two) from the candy bowl. Then, when all the leftovers are put away and feel like you truly can't eat anymore, you sneak to the fridge and grab yourself another plate.

Even though I am all about eating clean and being healthy, I actually super support this crazy tradition of stuffing your face. I just love the idea behind it. That picture I just painted is sometimes the only thing that brings families together for the year. So, please, be sure to participate. I'm sure there is no one out there thinking that they won't.

Now, I'm going to talk about the next month.

I understand that everyone spends their holiday season differently. However you spend it, though, it's filled with an endless amount of food and candy being shoved in your face by the kindness of others. It's secretly wonderful and even though you pretend calories don't count it's when you gain the most weight all year. The Holiday Season is hard. I would love for you to not eat one cookie or give into other holiday sugar but I know it's hard. I know that even I will be giving in to some Rocky Road Fudge and some cookies. How can you not? There is a way to slow that food train down, though.

So, just after stuffing my face full of turkey and before all the Christmas cookies I am going to do a 3-day refresh to get my holiday season off right.

Let me tell you what a 3-day refresh is...

It's a challenge where you lose weight and kick-start healthier eating habits in just 3 days—while continuing to get your Daily Dose of Dense Nutrition even after your Refresh is over—with the 3-Day Refresh and Shakeology Challenge Pack. This pack is designed to fast-track your weight loss by detoxifying and cleansing your system while helping you replace bad eating habits with good ones. In just 3 days you'll feel lighter and healthier, without starving. In 30 days, you'll feel like a whole new you.

Now what it includes:

• Your first 30-day supply of Shakeology—the superfood protein shake that helps give you energy, reduce cravings, and accelerate your fitness results—delivered on Home Direct, our monthly autoship program.
• 3-Day Refresh Kit: 6 Vanilla Fresh packets, 3 Fiber Sweep packets, and 1 program guide.

The key to this is it's a HEALTHY cleanse. I hate hearing about the cleanse that involves water, honey and cayenne pepper. That is awful and totally unhealthy. This includes food and eating. That is key.

This cleanse is a great way to kick off that Thanksgiving dinner and get started into a healthy holiday season. I am so excited to start my cleanse on December 1st! Who wants to join me? Let's have a great and healthy holiday season together...

Because there is NO better time than NOW!